I rarely post emails that a customer sends me, but this one is very special to me. I don't want to spoil it by saying too much. I just want you to read it. Enjoy!
Marquetta,
Thank you for the work you do, and for your wise counsel. Your post about thinning hair struck a nerve, since I have suffered from severe hair loss for over 12 years now. I have androgenetic alopecia, or male-pattern baldness, so my hair is like a little old man's- bald on top with fringe around the sides.
When I first realized that I was losing my hair, I went to a dermatologist. He told me then that there were so many women in my situation, and that the only solutions out there (Rogaine, etc.) were not good solutions for women.
He suggested that I go to a surgeon in Alabama (I live in Texas) and have hair transplants done. When I realized this was not a permanent solution, and that whatever caused these hair follicles to die would eventually also kill the new hair implants, I felt helpless, betrayed, betrayed by God, and hopelessly ugly.
I had already experienced what it is like to live in a world that expects women to have hair. I was overlooked, devalued, and avoided. Now I felt hopeless and defeated as well.
As I sat in my car in a rainy parking lot of doctor's office, I started to cry. I am a woman that will ferociously pursue any reasonable solution, but there didn't seem to be one.
I called my husband to tell him the bad news, that the woman he had married was going bald. He very gently said,
“Honey, I didn't marry your hair. I married YOU!”
I realized he was right. I am so much more than my hair.
In order to cope with the world around me, I purchased a wig. I had to drive 200 miles to find a wig store, and suffered immediate sticker shock. I had no idea how women could afford to spend several hundred dollars for a wig that didn't fit well, looked fake, and wouldn't last more than a few months! I took the wig home (it wasn't a cheap brand) and within 2 months I was looking for something else.
There website www.wigsupport.com which focuses on women with hair loss, and the solutions they have chosen. Another, www.heralopecia.com is also good, and they are closed, closely monitored groups which require application for admittance.
I have found my solutions, for now. I wear supplemental hair, called a topper. Sometimes I make them, thanks to your wonderful Lace Wig Mastery Training Seminar, and sometimes I purchase them. I am often complimented on my hair. Sometimes I reveal that I am wearing hair, and sometimes I don't.
Marquetta, the one thing you could stress to your followers, clients, friends, or associates, is that not all hairdressers are created equal. They need to search for those real “professionals”, the ones that recognize that my pitiful hair is just as important to me as a runway models glorious mane is to her. We didn't cause our hair loss, and in most cases, we can't fix it. Like it our not, our hair and our self-esteem, are closely related and therefore vulnerable.
I have been fortunate in that I have found a stylist who is willing to work with my natural hair, as well as the beautiful HH toppers I bring in. He spends all the time that he needs to in order to make me feel good about the way that I look. He is respectful and understands this is a tender subject.
Marquetta, you do such wonderful service, not only as a teacher, but as a truly God- loving woman. I am grateful to know you.
Please remind your sisters that hair loss is not the end of the world. It is another challenge, one which will make them stronger if they allow it. They are NOT their hair. They are so much MORE. They have value and beauty, even if their cosmetic preparations are more involved.
I am sorry this is so long. I hope it helped.
– Sue Burdett
I hope you enjoyed this email! It was so touching and I was so happy when Sue told me I could share it with you!
Be blessed,
